features >> Mother Support Groups

Ashley Varellie was wrenched away from her family and friends in Nashville, when her husband’s job was transferred to Macon. While her husband settled into his new routine at the office, she was at home with their 2-year-old son. A stranger in a new town, she felt isolated and very lonely. Ashley said, “I was depressed about the move, and I wondered how I could meet people. I desperately needed a support system.” A chance encounter with Melissa Hicks changed everything for Ashley. Melissa was the president of the North Macon MOMS Club at that time and she invited Ashley to a meeting. “She saved me,” said Ashley.

Relocating is difficult enough, but when the individual is also a full-time caregiver of young children, it can be even more difficult to establish a new social life. Veronica Griffin, manager of the Family Advocacy Outreach at Robins Air Force Base, said, “When people transfer in from other bases, they might not feel comfortable taking their small children out to greet the neighbors.” In an effort to decrease the isolation of parents of children under the age of five, the Family Advocacy program started a monthly meeting called “Parents and Tots Playgroup.” According to Veronica, the program has been very successful. “Already four play groups have formed from our ‘Parents and Tots’. We’ve enabled them to meet each other and form social networks,” she explained.

Even with family and friends in town, being a stay-at-home mom can be lonely and stressful. According to www.mommasaid.net, the average pre-schooler requires his or her mother’s attention every four minutes, or 210 times a day. Whitney McArthur, a member of two mother support groups, said, “Stay-at-home moms might sometimes feel like they’ve lost part of themselves to their children. Being with other mothers helps you to gain perspective.”

Besides the constant demands of children, there’s the constant concern of mothers that they might be doing it all wrong. Questions abound about parenting, such as: “Why does my baby cry every evening?” or “Why won’t my toddler eat anything but bananas for breakfast?” or “My 1-year-old son isn’t walking yet. Is something wrong with him?” Comparing notes and sharing experiences can be very reassuring. Whitney said, “If your toddler is having tantrums at the grocery store, you know you’ll find someone else in the group who’s going through the same stage.”

While the mother support groups are alike in that they try to ease the stress of parenthood, they differ in approaches and philosophies. Some are informal gatherings with the only goal being to provide companionship, while others seek to instruct and educate. Many hospitals and social service institutions offer ongoing support groups to their clients in the form of parenting classes. Group sizes may range from a few women in a neighborhood play group to international organizations with thousands of chapters. Two international groups that are well represented in Middle Georgia are MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and the International MOMS Club(trademarked).

MOPS was founded in 1973 in Wheat Ridge, Colorado, by eight women who wanted to gather and talk about parenting. MOPS chapters meet once a month. Childcare is provided during the meetings so the mothers can enjoy an informational program and some uninterrupted social time. The stated purpose of the program is, “to help mothers be the best parents they can be”, and may include subjects like how to pick the best schools or safety issues around the house. Although the group is non-denominational, a church sponsors each chapter and the meetings include a devotional element.

Besides the monthly meetings, MOPS chapters also do service projects, such as Operation Christmas Child. Beth Simmons, MOPS coordinator at Martha Bowman United Methodist Church, said, “It’s important that we understand that’s it’s not all about us, that other people need help too. We need to reach outside of our walls.”

The other popular group in middle Georgia is the International MOMS Club, which was founded in 1983, in California, by Mary James. When Mary discovered there weren’t any parent groups that met during the daytime and included the children, she started MOMS Club. The “MOMS” is an acronym for “moms offering moms support.” In 20 years, the organization has grown to over 1,800 chapters and 80,000 members across the United States.

The format of the MOMS Club is simple. Activities are planned throughout the month, and members are welcome to attend any or all of them. Most activities are geared towards the children, such as play dates in the park, story time at the library, or tours of the local fire station. But there is also a Ladies Night Out and occasional family gatherings that include the fathers.

It’s not all fun and games though. MOMS Club also requires each chapter to complete at least one service project per year. Melissa Hicks explained, “We’ve done yard sales and silent auctions to raise money for local charities. We also contribute some of our fundraising money to International MOMS Club’s ‘Mother-to-Mother Fund’ which gives grants to members who have had catastrophic losses.”

Like Ashley Varellie, Mary Robinson had moved to Macon and was a stranger in a new town.  Mary, now the chapter president of the South Macon MOMS Club, said, “It’s been wonderful for me. I’ve become close friends with the other members. It’s helped me to know other people in my situation. I’m very grateful for MOMS Club.”

According to the U. S. Census Bureau, at-home moms are raising over 10.6 million children. With an estimated 5.2 million stay-at-home moms, it seems unlikely that any of the women would feel alone, but they do. Mother support groups unite the women, giving them a sense of belonging and a safe place to vent their frustrations, as well as, to celebrate the daily wonders of being a mom.

SIDE BAR

Local Mother Support Groups

MOPs International

www.gospelcom.net/mops

Local chapters:

Southside Baptist Church
1040 S. Houston Lake Rd
Warner Robins, GA 31088
Coordinator: Robin Walls – walls51@cox.net
Meeting Time: 2^nd Tuesday of the month. Call to register first.

Martha Bowman UMC
500 Bass Rd
Macon, GA 31210
Coordinator: Beth Simmons – Bethsimmons1@aol.com
Meeting Time: 1^st Friday of the month. 9:00-11:30. Need to make reservation for childcare.

First Baptist Church of Christ
511 High Place
Macon, GA 31201
Coordinator: Betty Clark – for information call 742-6485
Meeting Time: 2^nd Tuesday of the month. 7:00 p.m.

Mom’s Club International

www.momsclub.org

There are chapters in North Macon, South Macon, Forsyth, and Warner Robins. Go to the web site and e-mail your request for information. The area director will forward your request to the appropriate chapter president, who will contact you and give you a schedule of events.

Parents and Tots

Smith Community Center
Robins Air Force Base
Contact: Veronica Griffin – 327-8427
Meeting times: Last Monday of the month. 9:30 a.m. – 10:30 a.m.
Open to anyone who has base access